Have you seen this video yet?
Words like “pushy”, “stubborn”, and “bossy” are legitimate terms and should not be banned because they are used poorly or with negative connotations. If words that are used in different, or worse, ways than intended are to be banned, then why not also ban the following:
Every one of these words are used differently than intended. Some are used in immoral and/or illegal ways as well. The point is that we should not “ban” a word, but rather, engage in better speech. In the above video, good-minded people want to make an adjustment to how the word “bossy” is applied. The problem is that bossy is a good word at times. Bossy connotes a particular attitude more than aptitude. Regardless of gender, I believe there are humans created to lead and those who are not. Those who can lead need to be enriched with aptitude without engaging in poor attitudinal habits. Here are 4 ways to lead like a boss without being bossy.
The Bible uses the term shepherd when it speaks of leadership. A shepherd will make decisions at times the sheep may not like. Changing pastures and drinking holes will be met with opposition at times. Keeping a dumb sheep from jumping off the cliff might require physical captivity. Each of these are for the betterment of the group. In leadership today, the same is often needed. However, the failure to communicate the need for change or denial of discussion about the need for change can be viewed as pushy, stubborn, or downright bossy. Learning to communicate is indeed critical to successful leadership.
There are definite differences between leader and follower. Someone has to be in charge and others need to be instructed. Leading without being bossy can be stemmed by finding those moments of common ground and working together to accomplish a project. Some projects are best left to the team to handle while the leader is involved in other necessary ventures. However, when the paths cross lock arms and shoulder the load together. Additionally, finding ways to serve others under your leadership lessens the attitude and inflates the aptitude to lead.
Developing relationships among the ranks is critical. If a leader is only seen in the “ivory tower” and never among the people it will be understood much like the Princess who said, “Let them eat cake”, which refers to the oblivious nature of leadership at times. Learn the names and needs of your people to best of your ability. Undercover Boss is always entertaining because the boss sees and feels the people and their needs in a new way.
Leaders tend to be highly driven and internally motivated to succeed. Leaders often have a vision that is years down the road but want it today. Learning to calm down and work within the construct given gives longevity to the position and to the person. Those who drive too hard will kill those being driven and possibly stress out themselves. Many things might get accomplished in the short-run, but the wake of dead left behind tells the real tale. Good leaders will cast the vision and then provide achievable goals along the way.
Teaching our boys, and girls, the aptitude for leadership while leaving the negative attitudes behind will dramatically change the future of every community and our own country. If someone, regardless of gender, is behaving in a way that does not care for the needs of others or the best interest of the group then “bossy” still applies. Besides, if we remove “bossy”, our culture might start using another word we don’t like either. Teach our kids who have ambition, strength, and leadership qualities to be the boss without being “bossy”.