The MTV Video Music Awards aired on Sunday night. It seems that many are still talking about it but not in a good way. The performance by Miley Cyrus, the once cute and perky Hannah Montana, left nothing to the imagination and a burning sensation in our retinas. I admit that I have watched every episode of Hannah Montana. Before you revoke my “Man Card”, let me remind you that I have a daughter who just loved the music and we watched those shows as a family. We often would discuss the topics and attitudes to help her understand what is proper and what is not. The line between princess and prostitute is getting blurred these days.
While we understand that the struggle we face is not flesh and blood (Ephesians 6), it definitely plays out in flesh and blood situations. Parents, we are in a fight. This fight is FOR our daughters because left to themselves and our culture, our girls will also wind up on stage groping and grinding for a living as did Miley Cyrus Sunday night. How do we fight for our daughters? How do we raise princesses and not prostitutes? Surprisingly, the Book of Proverbs gives a warning about immoral women in chapter 7. Here are 7 critical areas to help fight for your daughter:
Modesty. In verse 10 we see that the immoral woman dresses like a prostitute (ESV). Other translations use the word seductively dressed. When the term “nude bikini” is used to describe what someone is wearing we have a problem. I walk through stores with my wife looking for clothes my daughter can wear. I am not a prude. I am not “that” guy. However, I find it difficult to find shorts that fit where my daughter’s behind is no showing or shirts that are not so tight they reveal her spleen. We must teach them modesty. A good rule of thumb is if you can see the bra change shirts and if you can see hip bones the pants are too low-cut.
Decorum. Have you noticed how kids seem to shout more and at the wrong times? In verse 11 we see that the immoral woman is loud and wayward. The NLT describes her as the brash and rebellious type who would never stay home. Here she is being described as someone who is loud when she should be quiet. She is the type who do not know how to whisper. They talk out loud in quiet moments, interrupt, and use words and phrases in rude ways. The rebellious nature takes on the persona of a bull in a china shop. This is Ariel Moore from Footloose. Go ahead. Blame the Dad. He was as much to blame for her actions and she was for choosing them.
Boundaries. She is often see at the market, on the corner, and lies in wait in verse 12 (ESV). This description reminds me of the campaign a few years back “It’s 10pm, do you know where your children are?” Mine are in bed. Because of my own poor choices during those years, I personally know that nothing good really happens after 10pm. Our girls need boundaries. (So do our boys, but they are not the topic today.) They need to know what is expected and the consequences for crossing the line. That result must be consistent and unpleasant. Over time, the boundaries will be established.
Discipline. Verse 13 has the girl seizing and kissing the boy. My wife and I are endlessly telling girls to disregard these boys and have some discipline. It seems that being boy-crazy is attaining new heights…and depths. God wired us in certain ways whether we like it or not. Girls are not hunter-gatherers. That is not to say they cannot hunt, fish, etc. In the life moments they should be the ones being chased and not doing the chasing. Girls have forgotten that with a little discipline about themselves they can rule over these tweener and teenage boys who are clueless. Sorry boys! Girls will typically mature before the boys and are not taking the proper perspective. Stop drooling over these boys and chasing them. They will come to you soon enough. Girls, have some respect!
Respect. Speaking of respect, we find the woman in verses 14-15 going to church but living like the Devil. She has made her sacrifices but it is not having any effect on her lifestyle. We are to raise our daughters to love and honor God. Included is the idea of respecting God enough to be consistent. Fathers, we have a large part in this process. The relationship she has with her father will directly relate to how she sees God. If she respects you she will respect God. If she obeys you she will obey God. We must, as fathers, love our girls in a way that they feel loved and supported. In this way, we model God’s love for us since He saw our need and loved us enough to fulfill that need.
Purity. The woman in this passage commits adultery with this guy and probably any guy who would have her. She knows her husband is out of town and prances around until she catches the eye the guy. I hear more and more about casual sex. So many try to say that they are just having fun, it means nothing, and that I am just an old man now. One of those things might be true. What I can tell you is that having fun and meaning nothing will get you into trouble. We must model purity for our daughters. What they see the parents doing, they will likely do. Tell them how valuable they are. Tell them how beautiful they are. Tell them how special they are. Start this early and do it often because everything about our culture is telling them something different. Kids drink, drug, and do each other to try to feel something and be something. Help her understand the precious gift of God she is and has within her.
Etiquette. This woman uses pretty speech and flattering words to entice the boy. While it may be said that boys are stupid, let’s not remove responsibility. Our girls today need to understand how to talk, when to talk, and how to act in certain situations. A girl should not be alone with a guy…ever. Nothing good happens here. Talking become touching and touching becomes….well you get it. The 6 things leading up to this are the foundation for the last. She needs to know how to behave in certain situations. What Miley Cyrus did at the VMA is not good form. Parents, assume that what you see in public is only a fraction of what they do in private.
Put the phones down and talk. Turn off the TV and talk. Close the laptop and talk. Be home at night and talk. Girls want to talk. Have you listened? In the words of an old country song, “Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Miley!”